Anti Diet

I have long been anti-diet. It’s not really that I’m against diets. It just seems like they’re all the equivalent of get rich quick schemes. Too good to be true, the mark of a con-job. People do crazy things like eat nothing but tuna and beets for months with the promise of looking thin and beautiful. And it doesn’t happen because you can’t stick to a diet like that.

And I never liked that the goal seemed so centered on physical appearances. I equated dieting with tanning and six minute abs.

And now I’m actually trying a diet. My doctor said it was a good idea so I guess it’s more about health than a vacuous pursuit of unattainable beauty. Still, I’m sort of embarrassed to admit I’m doing it.  I feel like I’m admitting to having sent money or my social security number to a fictional Nigerian prince. It’s not that I’m embarrassed that I need to go on a diet. I just feel like a chump when I tell people.

It doesn’t really help that it’s called the South Beach Diet. It makes it sound like a sunny optimistic diet for hipsters with $200 flip flops and small dogs that wear clothes. It doesn’t fit in with my non-hipster dork/hobo identity.  But I read most of the book. It seems to be based on eating foods with a low glycemic index. I sounds like it’s based in science & eating lots of veggies and avoiding processed and prepared foods.

It’s a catch 22 really. I think it seems valid because it avoids prepared foods, but it’s a lot of work because it avoids prepared foods. Like it suggests making these elaborate lunches from scratch and for me, lunch has often been a ziplock bag filled with mini-wheats and an apple or something. That’s easy and requires no planning… or is the result of no planning.

They say most of the main diets actually work if you actually stick to them. This is just day 1 so who knows. I only have to do this phase 1 part for 2 weeks. I think I can handle that. It should be easier after that because there will be more foods I’m allowed to eat. And I can tell it’s good for me. It’s forcing me to eat way more veggies. It’s not that I won’t eat them normally but they’re more like a garnish on my rice or noodles.

5 thoughts on “Anti Diet”

  1. Hey, good luck! If it makes you feel any better, I started that diet a year ago January. It wasn’t from a vacuous pursuit of unattainable beauty so much as a desire not to have to shop for new clothing. It starts out as a lot of work up front, but you do get used to it. Good luck with the first two weeks–I craved chocolate badly. I did feel good, though, and I ended up losing a lot of weight. No shopping! Yay! I eat yogurt for lunch. Or sometimes a salad. Yogurt doesn’t take thought in the morning.

  2. Thanks! Luckily I won’t crave chocolate but I’m sure I’ll be craving gimlets. :)

    Congrats on losing a bunch of weight.

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